Seriously.
A movie I saw 8 years ago that came on the Disney Channel. I was 12 and thought it was the most halfway inspirational thing that I had ever seen. Fast forward in time to when I am 21 and watching it in my bedroom because I have nothing better to do with my time, and I come to realize that it is the most half-assed movie I had ever seen.
Things I didn't like about Gotta Kick It Up:
1. Those girls were whining the whole movie.
- "I don't want to be here."
- "You won't teach us how to spin on our heads even though it's still day one and none of us can even dance yet."
- "You won't let us compete even though we just learned how to do the Washing Machine a week ago."
2. Speaking of the Washing Machine, GOOD LORD the cultural refrences. Okay, I understand. You're a bunch of lower-middle class mexicans trying to make it in the world. Or some shit. Using the phrase "Si, se puede" in every possible - and sometimes completely incorrect - situation does not make you any type of bilingual.You're all american! Well, almost all. That's if you excuse the one obvious Asian girl that was pretending to be some sort of across the border foreign exchange student.
3. They were all in middle school? These grown ass female characters were somehow all supposed to pretend to be 13 and actually convince me that they were still in the 7th grade? Thats preposterous!
4. Considering the fact that they were supposed to still be in middle school, how does Disney Channel expect to justify the relationship between the one girl, Daisy, and her obviously over-aged boyfriend Chewey?* He was a grown ass man, riding around in a Pinto, working in a auto-shop after he dropped out of High School only lord knows how many years ago dating a girl who is supposed to still be going to Marshal Middle School? I don't appreciate the Disney Channel trying to advocate this type of behavior between grown ass men and 'minors.'
5. ...Why in the hell was there a grown man walking around with the name of something used as a descriptive label of a chocolate granola bar? Chewey? Are you serious?
6. And that last caption at the end of the movie? They made it to nationals. ROLL CREDITS. I don't even know what the fuck happens after that? Do they lose? Do they win? Do I even care? God, the emotional unavailability towards any of these characters kills me. What makes it worse, is the fact that this shit is based on a true story... I'm not kidding you.
If Disney Channel was trying to relate to its Latin audience in any way, I find this a spectacular fail. As nothing more than a really bad attempt at spanish Bring It On, I can only wonder what in the hell I was high on as a 12 year old. I am dissappoint.
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*Side note: I have just learned that Chewey is supposed to be spelled Chuy. That does not make anything better. Most especially this movie.
