Every once in a while, when I find something that I'm interested in acquiring later, I write down the name of a song or artist in my phone. It could be a song from an infomercial, something I happen to find on XM Radio on the plane, or even once, from an episode of The Wonder Years. Then, when I remember, I search for it later so I can download it.
Today, I went in my phone to look for something to listen to, I came across Paul Revere and The Raiders - Kicks. I don't remember writing this down. I don't even remember hearing this song. But I love it. Damn... I'm brilliant.
Archive for June 2011
Mystery musical appreciation.
Future bad parenting
Tonight as I was sitting around minding my own business and chatting on the phone, I was VICIOUSLY ATTACKED by a flying cockroach. The whole scenario pretty much went down like this.
No.
HI!
No.
HI!
Fuck no.
Howdy!
MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!
The worlds largest fucking roach just flew in from the window, right past my face and then stared at me from the wall for about 10 hours. Or 10 seconds... because I immediately screamed like a little bitch, dropped the phone, and ran as fast as humanly possible, while, when scared, is pretty damn fast.
My mom had to come and rescue me from my fate, which made me think about something.
In the future, when I have little Ashley Jr. 1 and Ashley Jr. 2, what in the hell am I going to do when they call me to come and kill the largest roach in humanity that just flew into their room? I'm sure as hell not going to be the one to kill it. I'll the the one running away first. And lord knows, I'm probably not going to have a clue in the world as to where the father is. Let's be real. They're both named Ashley!
I feel so bad for my mom now, considering the fact that I'm almost 22 years of age and still asking her to "KILL IT, MOM, KILL IT!" I fear this is something that I just may never grow out of. Even after I have children, sorry to say. My kids are just going to have to learn to grow up really fast and do shit for themselves, because I'm going to be a useless parent.
The boys & girls guide to getting down
It's 5 am and I should be sleeping... but this movie was freaking hilarious.
I'm really upset about this.
I don't care about excuses anymore. Whatever you have to say can't possibly explain why I was never able to even get a text with 2 little letters.
H-I
That difficult, huh?
I understand. Causing carpel tunnel type difficulties, right?
Oh, wait!
But maybe your house burned down!
Or someone shot your dog!
Maybe someone rocketed your laptop into space!
Your hands got chopped off!
You went blind!
YOU'RE DEAD!
You see? I just thought of all the excuses for you. Just pick one from the stock. I'll just roll with it like I normally do.
Better yet, don't fucking talk to me. You're really good at doing that too.
About Me
- Ashley Allen
- I am everything you think I am. I will always fall short of your expectations.