I sometimes wonder about Barney and how he's doing. Like, I'm positive that I did love him. Do love him? But why should that be a bad thing? I once read that people have a confused opinion of what unconditional love really is. They love unconditionally as long as it's reciprocated. As soon as the love stops being returned, it stops being given. I happen to have an issue where even if a person decides they hate me, I can't stop myself. If I decide to love someone I'm going to keep doing it unless they do something crazy like kick my cat. Until then, they're stuck with me.

I haven't spoken to Barney since February. And I'm not angry or anything about it. It just hasn't happened. There wasn't any need. But I still miss him pretty often. It was kind of messed up of him to say he would be my friend after we broke up if he had no intention, but what can you do. That doesn't matter to me. I still love him.

Differentiation between loving him and being in love with him. Sadly, I don't think I was ever in love with him. That's probably why I'm not too affected by our lack of contact. I was fucked up not talking to Tobias for years. 100% of the reason why we have to converse at least once a week. Because that love shit was lasting, considering the fact that my body no longer feels anything for him.

Every once in a while I consider calling Barney. I feel like he'd just be annoyed with me if I did though. I feel like he was annoyed with me for a vast majority of our relationship. Another reason it was no big deal for me to let it go. He'd do better without me.

Oh well.

Unconditional love is unconditional.