Okay, seriously? This season is just completely out of hand. What are these girls even fighting about? She called you a 'dumb whore.' That's awful! But it's not okay for you to punch another girl in the face as retribution. That's just crazy!
These girls are all crazy!
Bad Girls Club
Who are you really, Ashley Ann-Nicole Allen?
Are you the smile that lights up a room upon entry?
No, I don't think that's what we're looking for.
Are you the aura that makes other people around you energized to know that you're near?
Oh, drat, I don't think that's it either.
Are you nothing but the ride mule?
Yeah, hit the nail on the head.
I'm nothing but the fucking taxi service around here. People don't want to hang out with me because I'm fun or exciting or even pleasant to be around. I'm the girl that only gets a phone call when someone needs a way to get somewhere.
"Hey, Ashley. We're trying to go to this party, and we wanted to know if you wanted to come!"
"Why, sure, friend! I'd love to come."
"Oh, well we need a ride to get there so, thanks a lot!"
OR
"Ashley, are you doing anything today?"
"No, not at the moment. Why? Did you want to chill?"
"Well, I was just wondering if I gave you $5 you could drop me off at Al's house."
You know what people?
Do.
You.
Know.
What?!
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Find yourselves another ride mule and leave me the fuck alone.
English 1102
You know that paper that I was supposed to be writing on Thursday but decided to forget about and go to Wild Bills instead and then proceeded to write Friday morning during class and then hand in at the last 7 minutes when I had finally finished stringing all of the bullshit together in coherent sentences and paragraphs?
Yeah, got a mothafuckin 90 on that ho.
And in my head, all I can think is, ‘FUCK YEAH. I’M THE BEAR JEW. I’M AWESOME. FUCK YEAH.’
I’m ranting. Don’t read this.
Chelsea and Tina. Why the fuck are these bitches around all of a sudden? I thought when I got rid of one of you, it would mean that I had gotten rid of all of you but I turn around and now you’re everywhere! It’s pissing me off. I can’t even go over to my friends house without fear of you and your stupid fucking friends being in the bedroom.
I HATE YOU. I hate you and your life and your friends and your invasion. Because you’re like a pack of fucking aliens come to take over. And I just can’t seem to find a way to get you back on your ship and out of my life.
Where the hell do you even get this ability? To just show up and make everything so… wrong. Why are you corrupting my friends? Why are you talking to them? Why can’t you just go out and get your own? What makes it worse is the fact that they’re just okay with you being around. They ‘enjoy your company,’ you two-faced sacks of shit.
Get your own fucking friends and stay the fuck away from mine.
I HATE YOU. I hate you and your life and your friends and your invasion. Because you’re like a pack of fucking aliens come to take over. And I just can’t seem to find a way to get you back on your ship and out of my life.
Where the hell do you even get this ability? To just show up and make everything so… wrong. Why are you corrupting my friends? Why are you talking to them? Why can’t you just go out and get your own? What makes it worse is the fact that they’re just okay with you being around. They ‘enjoy your company,’ you two-faced sacks of shit.
Get your own fucking friends and stay the fuck away from mine.
Kick it.
School at 10 a.m. in the morning.
Work 30 minutes after I get out of class.
I’ll be free after 4 p.m. and wanting some coffee.
That wasn’t an invite. I was just informing.
Fake ass smile. I’m tired as hell.
On the moon?
Boy: What's the best thing to ever happen to you?
Girl: Music?
Boy: If I fucked you on the moon, would that take the number one spot?
Girl: Do you promise to provide oxygen?
Boy: Of course. You can't hear screams without air.
Girl: At least I'll have something to dream of tonight.
Boy: If by dream, you mean masturbate, me too.
Girl: Why do you think I'm so tired?
Boy: ...Come here and get your clothes off, Ashley.
Spaz face on PAUSE
There is no real need for me to worry about where you are because I’m not your girl.
And you aren’t my man.
And I don’t anticipate that changing anytime soon.
So I’m going to need you to stop acting like you want to change that.
Because I know for a fact that its not really what you want.
Or maybe I just have to pretend a little harder that it's not what I want.
Even though that's definitely what I want.
I’ll just pretend a little harder, but not too much.
I still like the kisses.
You can’t have those back.
About Me
- Ashley Allen
- I am everything you think I am. I will always fall short of your expectations.