because, ‘yes,’ I think. ‘It’s Friday, and another week without seeing Tobias is a good week. I’m not going to the bar tonight, because I’m going to Fuck Yess!!! and it’s not like he’s about to go.’

I feel the victor. I am a winner. Charlie Sheen references all up in this bitch.

And then I get home to turn my phone on because it’s been dead since last night. I notice that I have 12 missed text messages, one from Tobias.

“Are you going to Fuck Yes tonight?”