Yeah, so I have no problems with being pro choice. In the event that it turns out that Joseph knocked me up, I know exactly what I'm going to do. Head my pregnant ass right over to Planned Parenthood and pick myself up an abortion pill.
You see, I kind of have something against a person sticking a small vacuum cleaner up my business and sucking out anything it can reach. That's only the slightest bit intrusive, in my opinion. However, I have no qualms with taking some form of medication to allow my body to take care of business on its own.
The only thing I have to worry about is if abortion is covered by BlueCross BlueShield. My insurance would be rather handy in that situation. And if it doesn't cover it, Joseph and I will be having a rather interesting conversation. And this is how I'll imagine that it will go:
Me: Joseph, I'm pregnant. Give me money for the abortion pill.
Joseph: Okay.
For seriously. And I swear to BOB, if anyone dares stick a penis in me without a condom on again, regardless of who they are, I'm ripping it off.
I'm not emotionally or mentally stable enough to be bringing some bastard child into this world. I refuse to be responsible for anyone else's fucked up life.
Abortion: My anti-pregnancy
Bad Girls Club
Okay, seriously? This season is just completely out of hand. What are these girls even fighting about? She called you a 'dumb whore.' That's awful! But it's not okay for you to punch another girl in the face as retribution. That's just crazy!
These girls are all crazy!
Who are you really, Ashley Ann-Nicole Allen?
Are you the smile that lights up a room upon entry?
No, I don't think that's what we're looking for.
Are you the aura that makes other people around you energized to know that you're near?
Oh, drat, I don't think that's it either.
Are you nothing but the ride mule?
Yeah, hit the nail on the head.
I'm nothing but the fucking taxi service around here. People don't want to hang out with me because I'm fun or exciting or even pleasant to be around. I'm the girl that only gets a phone call when someone needs a way to get somewhere.
"Hey, Ashley. We're trying to go to this party, and we wanted to know if you wanted to come!"
"Why, sure, friend! I'd love to come."
"Oh, well we need a ride to get there so, thanks a lot!"
"Ashley, are you doing anything today?"
"No, not at the moment. Why? Did you want to chill?"
"Well, I was just wondering if I gave you $5 you could drop me off at Al's house."
You know what people?
Do.
You.
Know.
What?!
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Find yourselves another ride mule and leave me the fuck alone.
English 1102
You know that paper that I was supposed to be writing on Thursday but decided to forget about and go to Wild Bills instead and then proceeded to write Friday morning during class and then hand in at the last 7 minutes when I had finally finished stringing all of the bullshit together in coherent sentences and paragraphs?
Yeah, got a mothafuckin 90 on that ho.
And in my head, all I can think is, ‘FUCK YEAH. I’M THE BEAR JEW. I’M AWESOME. FUCK YEAH.’
I’m ranting. Don’t read this.
I HATE YOU. I hate you and your life and your friends and your invasion. Because you’re like a pack of fucking aliens come to take over. And I just can’t seem to find a way to get you back on your ship and out of my life.
Where the hell do you even get this ability? To just show up and make everything so… wrong. Why are you corrupting my friends? Why are you talking to them? Why can’t you just go out and get your own? What makes it worse is the fact that they’re just okay with you being around. They ‘enjoy your company,’ you two-faced sacks of shit.
Get your own fucking friends and stay the fuck away from mine.
Kick it.
School at 10 a.m. in the morning.
Work 30 minutes after I get out of class.
I’ll be free after 4 p.m. and wanting some coffee.
That wasn’t an invite. I was just informing.
Fake ass smile. I’m tired as hell.
On the moon?
Boy: What's the best thing to ever happen to you?
Girl: Music?
Boy: If I fucked you on the moon, would that take the number one spot?
Girl: Do you promise to provide oxygen?
Boy: Of course. You can't hear screams without air.
Girl: At least I'll have something to dream of tonight.
Boy: If by dream, you mean masturbate, me too.
Girl: Why do you think I'm so tired?
Boy: ...Come here and get your clothes off, Ashley.
About Me
- Ashley Allen
- I am everything you think I am. I will always fall short of your expectations.